Pagtrader Stocks up 1 Bananillion Percent!

article written by Cornelius Goonzonk the 17th

recently, pagtrader stocks have soared in light of balka "borlguh" oog being exonorated from the 17 million charges of murder he faced earler this year. the deaths were found to be of old age, not murder. the cops in charge of the "immortal cretin" case were unaware of the purpose of graveyards in standard western society.

"my dih fell off in shock" - pagtrader executive John Johnny Johnson

pagtrader has been doing very well since borlguh has been brough back to the spotlight. borlguh was given $12, a burger, and a side of large fries by the oogaboogumblur police dep. for his wrongful arrest. borlguh states that "there are no hard feelings," bu that the chief of police, glumbus koognoog, should "make sure to not visit the pagtrader offices on vitan 17th, 2084 at 4:09 PM EST."

due to the surge in stocks, many casual investors in pagtrader llc have become millionaires overnight, and the revelation that borlguh was connected to pagtrader has caused visitations to the site to skyrocket. i love money. pagtrader pays me so much money. i love pagtrader. anyways, investing in pagtrader is very attractive, as the stock price continues to surge. currently, borlguh is the 9th most weathly induvidual alive. quote from borlguh "i'm coming for you, excelsior the pag."