PAGTRADER.COM NEWS | GIVE US YOUR MONEY | SPREAD MISINFORMATION | TRUST THE PAG

Pagtrader: News Page! Give us your money!

meet the writing team

meet our team who puts together these very true stories

Cornelius Goonzonk the 17th

Head of Misinformation

Our #1 writer, he spreads misinformation like no other! we all love him here. He has -3 degrees from harvard, as he didnt go there. He went to reddit academy and graduated with a 1.8 GPA. He was born in 2002 and currently lives in Zhidav, Pagoi. He is a pag also I guess. He was born in Cetada, but moved to Pagoi for "Undisclosed Reasons Which Can Not Be Mentioned Here".

Bobby Bobson

Assistant Misinformator

He is in charge of finding only the best stories, and giving them to Cornelius. He writes stories assigned to him as well. He is 89 years old and smokes 4 cigar boxes every day. He spends much of his time researching around, and rarely writes his own articles. He is an older gentleman. He loves movies.

Carol Crungus

Head of Research and Assistant to Cornelius.

Carol is very good at researching for new projects, but her sources usually consist of "revealed to me in a dream" and "made it up for dramatic effect." Either way, her research is invaluble and she is an integral part of the team. Carol Crungus was born in 1289 in Ancient Oogarboorgglunkglaorkajuangabagoabagalagnakglorkgnorkgnankzunkzorglezimzobrunwigglorpgeljuujuugoogoo. In 1986, she was arrested for hijacking the Oogaboogumblur National Television Network. She escaped from prison in one week using a rusty iron nugget, earning her the nickname Iron Crung. She has been hiding out in various forests across Elephoi since, but still makes time to write incredible articles.

Dave J. Spoog

Head of Procrastination

he does nothing. I fucking hate him.